Conquering dislike.

When we spend time with someone we care about, it can be challenging when we rarely see eye to eye on matters of significance.  And you may, as I do, wish for more compatible fellowship. 

It’s enjoyable to feel like who you are is valued by the people in your life.
But there is another side that is hard to embrace: Being with someone who doesn’t value you. That tests our resolve and demands that we examine why they don’t like us. What are we doing, beyond just existing, that encourages their behavior? 

It is all too easy to blame them. After all, can’t they see how wonderful we are? In such moments we can see the inward dragon rising with his ugly head. Mr. (or Mrs.) Ego is coming into view, and that one wants applause, not disparagement. I don’t like that side of myself, but if I look closely, I can see the benefits of this awkward situation. Unless we want to spend my time around sycophants and birds just like us, it’s in everyone’s best interest to come to terms with the only thing we have control over—Ourselves.

We are the ones who cause either acceptance or rejection of ourselves. Nobody creates that but us. And that takes clear-headed resolve, courage, and willingness to take the heat of our own dispassionate self-assessment to create a better world. Getting rid of our ego is a nasty business that entails a path of suffering that leads inevitably to freedom. The Buddha’s words:

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. What we think, we become.”